You read 'smile' didn't you. Interesting psychology, but not what I'm on about.
What I'm talking about is the omnipresent and unnecessary use of 'like' in the language of Britain's youth (and recently, transgressing borders into the register of an older generation). It occurred to me on the bus back home to Chavtown-upper-Mousle that for some people, 99,9 % of what they say is 'like'.
- I feel like, like, you know, like, d'you know what I mean, like (Unknown on iPhone in Bus line 49)
No, I most certainly don't. And it would not bother me that sixteen year-old, underprivileged school leavers talk in similes that really aren't any, but considering that my seminars at uni start sounding like bus conversations - it does. I include myself when I say that my seminars consist of about 70 % similes, used to support arguments, to express personal opinion, or simply to articulate a full stop (imagine a coherent sentence with an added 'like' at the end, just to emphasize the end of the spoken - it reminds of army radio transceiver conversation - over and out). Britain, I'm afraid, has grown into a simile-abusing nation, with so little to say, that it has to flavor every sentence with an additional 'like' or two, just to fill up the unused narrative space that is lingering as a faint atmospheric mist over the island.
As I said, I do not exclude myself in the use and abuse of 'like'. In fact, writing, I am terribly self-conscious and catch myself wanting to use 'like' whenever everything else just sounds so, well, 'un-like'. But, there was a time when my use of like was strictly limited to the creation of similes and the expression of appreciation (he acts like an ass, I don't like that). However, Britain has corrupted me. The minute I set foot on this faintly damp island there was no going back, I was infected with the virus, or the like. Not using 'like', or not liking the use, is more than just a declaration of foreignness, it is the epitome of denial vis-a-vis the English language and culture - it is the ultimate betrayal of the British people, their Queen and of the head of the Church of England (which happens to be the same person).
Retrospectively then, is the sixteen year-old school leaver with five children the future of British culture? Does Britain rely on snuffling teenagers with a limited register? Does the same no-winter-coat-wearing teenager embody British culture at its fullest? And why do I still not understand what she was saying on her overpriced phone?
