Amplified self-confidence and the long way back

It felt like a long, warm hug from the Über-mother. A soothing drink for the soar self-confidence. A pat on the back of my ego. A Networking and Life skills workshop. 

That's the normal King's: all levels to a minimum

There is something intrinsically funny about a workshop hosted by a top agency, top people, with loads of free material and a well-structured schedule on the premises of King's College. But then we are CMCI, we like the binaries. It's now Saturday, sometime around midnight and I still feel energised. In fact, today was the first time in my entire time at King's that I felt energised at all, not drained of all my passion and will to live. I went into the workshop with little to no expectations at all, hoping to find at least some like-minded people to talk about what is bothering me. In addition to these people, we were presented with a group of professionals who actually cared about us. C-A-R-E. Unheard of in the area around the Strand, London, where levels of botheredness are so low, they fall beyond the bother-o-meter, off the scale into the Thames. And here are these people talking to us as if we were real human beings, valuing and evaluating every word we say. They even brought a former policeman in, who, admittedly, put a bit too much emphasis on the fact that he was not one of us, but a South-London boy with a Cockney accent, and a suit that wouldn't win the hearts of the Fashion Week people. Nevertheless, he rocked. And still rocks on. My hopes are all set on becoming a hostage negotiator. Denzel Washington-styly. Only that I am not male, not American, not black, not good at it, and not in a movie. The essence is that these people made us dream. Very realistic dreams in fact, about what is possible, not about what is impossible. 

The positive vibe that infused King's today was almost too much to bear - only hyper-regulated lunchtimes managed to keep us grounded. So where do they go right, where most other people go wrong? How did they manage to get my attention and keep it for two entire days with hardly any interruption (apart from said mealtimes)? How come that coloured pencils work more effectively than lecture handouts?

My main question of the day, and one of many unanswered ones (and that is a good thing!), was how can I make people listen to me? I find that people often switch off while I am talking. So, is it the boring content? My uninspiring articulation? My tone? My expressions? My general unappeal? What turns them off? Rather than being upset about it (though I still am, a bit) I explore the room for improvement, thanks to somebody who talks people off buildings, and somebody else who worked for a toothpaste manufacturer. I simplify here, because it makes the better story, and THAT is exactly what these two days were about: a story! My story, my life and the chapters to come. The dull prequel and the rather unimaginative introduction are over, now it's time to make things happen. What I need to do is work on the brand that is 'ME': 'ME' is the latest product of Alice, your trusted manufacturer of useless goods. 'ME' is launched in just one flavour, but with the promise of more to be developed within a short time. The components of 'ME' are a rather eclectic mix of novelty, eloquence, exchange, unattachedness, faithfulness and passion, shaped in the form of a regular Alice, but with a completely new recipe. 'ME' does not promise: 'ME' does. With its active ingredients of passion and novelty, 'ME' has everything future employers want: 'ME' will facilitate the generation of novelty ideas; it will provide the drive to make ideas go further; it will have the necessary distance to the project to see the need for correction; it will commit to the cause and want to finish the project: 'ME' does what others don't. (I love writing my own adverts) 

Also, what I learned today is that I need to stop complaining about my faults (see egocentrism) and start working with them as part of me, and potential strengths if modelled to my satisfaction. So I start here: 1. complaining (one for today is enough, I think). I like to complain, I have written to you, dear non-existing reader, about my complaints and what they mean to me. I have come to terms with them, and yet, they keep me from seeing myself clearly. They act as a veil of mounted dissatisfaction over my chubby face, blurring the distinctions between real unhappiness and just a bit of discomfort over some things that went a bit square. So, out with the complaints, in with positive feedback. I have decided that starting now, I will say positive things and stop moaning about everything, because my time is just NOT worth bothering. Uff that is quite a New Year's resolution, in mid-February.

Made me think about a beans party